Let’s Start From The Beginning: BDSM For Noobs

BDSM For Noobs

Ever since Fifty shades of grey came out (the book and the movie) everyone got interested in BDSM. Many people are trying to spice their sex life with some kinky toys, whips and chains. If you are new in this BDSM world, keep on reading.

If you don’t know what does BDSM stand for, we will explain this first. It means bondage-discipline-submission-masochism, bondage meaning sexual slavery. It includes tying your partner to bed (or wherever possible). BDSM questions and answers can be found all over the Internet. If you want to try this out, we have a little guide prepared for you beginners.

Communicate with your partner

You have to understand your partner’s needs and desires. You can’t tie them up if they don’t like that. It is necessary that desire for this is mutual. Your partner needs to feel safe at all times. Have a conversation about what would you like them to do and come to an agreement.

It’s not for one night stands

A true D/S relationship requires a lot of trust, so it isn’t recommendable for one night stands. BDSM takes time and energy and careful consideration. You can’t expect much at the beginning. You have to start slowly and build your BDSM relationship. Showing up with a whip just won’t do.

Planning is crucial

If you are the dominant one, your partner will expect that you have a plan prepared. You have to think like a porn director. There should be a story that has the beginning, the middle and the end. Think first about what you want and be prepared.

Don’t buy expensive toys

Bondage gear doesn’t have to be very complicated. In fact, the scarves and even shoelaces will do just fine instead of handcuffs and blindfolds. When you are trying bondage for the first time, don’t make your partner stand in one place. Let them lie down on the bed, and be careful not to tie the knot too tight. You can cut off their blood circulation. Blindfolds are a good way to heighten the sensations of touch. Your partner will rely on their sense of touch rather than their sense of sight, which can be very sexy. If you don’t have any leather masks lying around, sleep masks and scarves will work just as well.

Spanking

Don’t run off to buy a paddle, use your hand. Afterwards you can get a paddle that has leather on one side and a softer material on the other. Wood and silicone paddles are more intense and are not for beginners. Use these kinds of toys only on soft tissue to avoid damaging internal organs. You don’t want to hurt your partner, do you?

The power of mind

Communication is the key when it comes to getting kinky. Talk to each other, figure out what turns each other on and talk dirty. This can be a bigger turn on than a bunch of sex toys.

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